Once upon a time I visited Vasily Razborkin, my old friend, an expert for clearing muddy situations.

Vasily sits between three monitors. There was soccer on first monitor. Blinking diagrams on second one. And erotic show pleasant maidens on third. Vasily silently nodded me and point to armchair.

I sat and reflect on my matters. The doubts overcame me from two directions. Whether my problem is too trifling to give vent to my friend, instead of to try resolve it quietly myself? On the other hand, whether this problem is too important and serious? Maybe I have to bother secret police?

- Well, I think it's time to make your mouth opens and your tongue moves, - Vasily deign to pay attention on me, - come on, old boy, please, faster. Tell me or leave me. Terrible deficiency of time... Life is short, art is long, troubles are neverending...

- Well, - I mumble and gave Vasily my pocket computer, - I don't know, what to do... This is a tricky situation. The personal summons for audience to Gugle has come. Delirium! What does it mean? Maybe, a foolish joke of crazy spamers?

- I guess not! - Vasily attentively studied the mysterious message and even sniff around my small comp like a tracker dog (I have no idea what for), - Nobody! No one in this world dare make such things! Think! Joke from name of Gugle, The Great-One-and-Only! There is no way! Impossibly! It is a mortal sin, blasphemy, guglephemy... Anyone, who just get a wish to joke with a name of Gugle, The Eternal, at once going mad forever... No doubt the message is real! Yes, it is a real summons. Well, be honest, what you have done?

- Me?! Has done?! Look at me! What can I do at all? - I sincerely was indignant, - all days long I've alone, sit silently with myself and my little friend, computer. I nobody touch, repair old kerosene stove... Pah! Make websites little by little.

- Hm... And what websites you create?

- Well, I have made one tiny specific website recently...

- Sex?

- To tell honestly, yes, - I seems to begin understand, - but what's wrong with sex? Nobody forbade sex, even your Gugle!

- Gugle, The Eternal, - Vasily stare eyes and validly seen somewhere upwards, - never and nothing forbids. Gugle, The Eternal only helps righteous men in this terrestrial lives. Gugle, The Eternal only plunges heretic into bottomless abyss of obscurity. Gugle, The Eternal give a chance for all bad people over the world in famine and material sufferings to realize their fallaciousness and to rise on a way of correction!

- OK, but what about my business..., - I have reflected, - I simply wanted to get easy money! From whence is Gugle has felled on our poor heads?

- I am convince again and again, one never get high on base of primitive secular education. If you have received high-grade religious education, it would become easier for your soul... Many things you would understand... Long, long time ago, during awful Search Chaos there were two great humans - Adam and Eve lived on the Earth in flesh. They gave birth of The First Miracle of the world - Gugle, The Eternal. Gugle is more, than universe. Gugle is much more wise than Global Mind. There are no gods in the world but Gugle, The Eternal, The Great-One-and-Only. The prophets of Gugle, Bigsoft and Uhu spent over the world happy news about The Great-One-and-Only God of right searching.

- But I heard, - I dare interrupt the Great Teacher, - that not at once Bigsoft and Uhu became the Gugle's prophets and not at the good will...

- No difference! Nobody care! The miracle happened, great and eternal harmony of searching comes. The happiness became possible for all... It is the fact! The search became extremely exact and personal. Here is an example. Yesterday, my wife tried to make search on a word "happiness". For her the advertising of a new musical "New Casanova" has dropped out. I also tried a word "happiness" on the same computer! Also what do you think? For me the program of sport channel has dropped out! After all, is the Great Gugle really great?

- Really great! - I hurry to agree and take away my computer from this excited religious fanatic, - however, what is happiness for me? From the point of view of Gugle, certainly...

On a word "happiness" I got literally following: "The visiting of Gugle on a personal summons is great happiness, and also honorable right and duty of each conscious citizen of under the Moon world".

- Really great, - I have admired, - but you see it means, that Gugle has got a complete Database with full information about everyone.

- Only for complete maintenance of our search needs, - Vasily emphasized.

- It is amazing! But, all the same, I don't understand, what for he causes me? Well, he may just drop my website, and my business over!

- The ways of Great Gugle are inscrutable, - Vasily sighed, - I guess, that you have made something such especially awful, that we can't even imagine... Therefore, you are under the special attention of Maximum Forces.

- Maybe, he will kill me at once in his residence? - I was excited, - maybe, better try to escape from such happiness?

- You can escape from yourself, from Great Gugle - never, - Vasily answered, - Fear you should test during fulfillment of AntiGugle action. During punishment you should get happy simplification. Go and don't care! My last advice: get belief in Gugle! Farewell!

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... I have gone to a premise room. There was no end, nor beginning, nor bottom, nor top... Only strange white fog everywhere...

- I apologize, there is here somebody? I am here! I got a message from you! - I dare cry to nowhere...

- I see, - the pleasant man's baritone was come to me at once from different directions, - I have called you for one reason. I personally have seen your last site and...

"Is it time to down on my knees and begin to ask about mercy?" - I thought.

- I can't say, that it is ingenious masterpiece, but all is learnt in comparison... Yes, only in comparison, - Great Gugle weary sighed, - and the creations of others even worse, than yours. In your works... Hm... Flashes something human, reasonable, Gugleological... So I decided! I present you the personal gratitude for diligent service according high Gugle's top secreted criteria. Your site will be one day on the first place on request "sex" on all regions of the Earth for all adults on the Earth! One day is guaranteed! And maybe more...

"Oh, Gugle! Now I see! You are really Great! The first place on such request! I am a millionaire! Big business tycoon! After many heavy years of job! Now I will pray for you every day of my whole lifetime!" - scraps of pleasant thoughts flashed in my head.

- That's all, - Gugle said, - the audience is completed. Close eyes, open a mouth. You will removed from here back to humans.

- Oh, Gugle! Let me ask you one question in the end! Only one!

- OK. Come on. Quickly!

- Who are you, Gugle?

- I don't know... - The God of Search answered, - Honestly, I don't know... I think, therefore, I exist. I make search, therefore, I make rules. That's all I can say to you.

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PS. Got something to say? Found out an error? Please let me know! You contribution would be greatly appriciated!

PPS. Original russian version of the story here --->>>...

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